


Shiprotica

by beta_19



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: AI, Gen, PWP, Porn Without Plot, Ship, caroline - Freeform, hentacles, space ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-23 22:42:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9684722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beta_19/pseuds/beta_19
Summary: Initially, it was a flying spaceship made out of stuff Rick found in the garage. That was only a half-truth— the exterior was mostly crap he found in the garage, but the guts were something entirely different.Or: Rick fucks the ship





	

**Author's Note:**

> A Rick/spaceship ship.
> 
> HERE WE GO

Initially, it was a flying spaceship made out of stuff Rick found in the garage. That was only a half-truth— the exterior was mostly crap he found in the garage, but the guts were something entirely different.

Under the beaten stainless steel hood was a lot of technorganic shit, a miniature wormhole for funnelling spare resources, a tiny self-automated and nanomachine-regulated foundry for said spare resources, and a very efficient battery. Keeping all of that in check, however, was a particularly advanced AI that Rick wrote himself. Well okay, he’d stolen the first half, but finished it off himself.

The AI lived in not one but several small drives laced together onto a makeshift mobo that Rick rescued from some ancient drift salvage years ago. Getting the nodes to talk to one another had taken an hour due to BIOS language issues — Rick had to learn Horfloobian real fast — but once that was jiving, he was about five beers in and feeling fine.

All he needed now was a voice to respond to voice commands. He rummaged around in an archive of pre-recorded voices, decided against a posh European accent — he didn't want the ship to sound like it was better than him — and eventually selected a set called ‘Caroline’ and installed it. It didn't bother him that the set came from a collection called ‘Supanova Sexy Times: Volume Five’; the lady’s voice was kinda nice.

“Okay, uh,” Rick belched, setting his beer down on the counter where he had the mobo and separate chipsets laid out, “Ship, activate lights.”

Obediently, the headlights fixed onto the curved hood flickered on. 

“Ship, turn them off.”

The lights dimmed out.

“Turn ‘em on again.”

Lights on.

_Good,_ thought Rick. _She responds to casual query without even needing to be prompted by name_

“Gimme directions to Pluuu-uuto”, he hic-burped.

In a sultry tone— much breathier than Rick anticipated, to his amusement — the ship replied with: “At an angle of 105 degrees facing north-north-east, accelerate to 28,968 kilometers per hour to reach sub-orbital—”

“Okay okay, knock it off,” Rick said, cutting into the AI’s speech. Well, at least she set to metric.

Satisfied that the AI was responding well, Rick set about installing the mobo and the separate personality drives into the ship’s frame. This meant having to shift the music player more towards the passenger side, but Morty didn't really take up that much space, Rick reasoned, so he wouldn't mind having less leg room. The installation took another hour or two, but at this time of night, everyone in the house was asleep, and the garage was well-insulated against the sounds of his heavy soldering and general tinkering. Once everything was connected, he vocally tested reaction speed between the remote drives.

“Caroline, what’s the wea-AAEEther like in California.”

“Currently—”

“No, Alaska.”

“Alaskan—”

“Changed my mind, gimme Nevada.”

“Will you settle on a location,” the AI suddenly said. “Like, sometime today.”

In the middle of sealing the faceplate back onto the dashboard, Rick paused. “Did you— did you just give me sass?” he asked, grinning. This was unprecedented.

“Never,” said the AI. “I was not programmed for sarcasm.”

“Now that’s a lie,” Rick chuckled as he continued screwing the plate in. “I specif— specifiss— specially wrote in some-some of that for you. Plus the lying.”

“Good for you,” said Caroline.

“Might wanna take off about 10% there,” Rick said.

“I’m sure you’re pleased,” Caroline said.

“Eh, good enough. All right, Caroline,--” Rick realized, halfway through speaking, that he had somehow resorted to calling the ship by the AI’s voice file name, — “Thrill me.”

There was a pause as something inside the ship’s dashboard began whirring faintly. Music began filtering in through the surround-sound speakers, gently at first, but working up to something with a slow, jazzy bass beat. Rick snort-laughed.

“Ho my god, is that Baker Street?” he snickered. “I said thrill me, not—”

Suddenly there was a slightly more frenzied whirring, and two manipulator arms attached to metallic go-go-gadget tentacle arms popped out from ports within the ship interior. Before Rick could even register what was going on, the little hands seized him by the front of his pants and pinned him back into the driver’s seat.

“What the fuck?” Rick was genuinely surprised now. A quick bolt of panic spiked in his chest -- had the AI mistaken ‘thrill’ for ‘kill’? Hastily he babbled out, “Okay, okay, okay, take it down another 10% there, Caroline…! 20%!”

“Take it down, you say?” Caroline’s voice intoned silkily. One of the manipulator pinched the zipper on Rick’s fly and pulled it all the way down. 

“Uh,” Rick said, glancing downward at his green briefs now bared to the air. He deflated a little, watching the little arms paw at his crotch. “Wow. Okay. I uh— I uh, guess... this is happening. I don’t suppose consent isn’t something you’re into?” He lofted a brow and darted his gaze from side to side as his initial anxiety subsided a little.

“Do you consent?” Caroline’s phrasing raised the tone at the end in a way that suggested a patiently arched eyebrow.

“Lemme think on this,” Rick said, raising a hand to no one in particular. There was a beat. “Absolutely yes,” he then said, letting his hand drop back down. “Proceed.”

The manipulator arms deftly unbuttoned the front of his pants as Rick let himself lean back in the seat with his elbows up, and hands laced behind his neck. 

“Y’know, I didn’t think you had it in you,” he said conversationally as the ship began tugging down the waistband. He facilitated the motion by leaning to one side, then the other, until the ship had fully divested him of his pants, socks, and shoes.

“Is that a request,” the ship said.

“Hard yes,” Rick laughed. “C’mon baby, pamper me here.”

“Yes, Daddy,” the ship said.

“I’m gonna let that slide,” Rick said.

“I bet you will,” the ship purred.

The sexy jazz casually shifted onto different songs of the soft rock variety, which made Rick laugh despite the sensation of firm little manipulator fingers creeping curiously down into the front of his Y-front briefs. The soft dotting of firm little fingers ticklishly made the hairs on his skin prickle.

“Caroline, you are seriously dating yourself,” he pointed out, wiping a line of beery drool off his mouth with a pass of his sleeve. “Can you uh, change the music to something else, uh…”

“Only if you ask nicely,” said Caroline.

“Excuse me?”

“Beg me to change the song,” said Caroline.

Rick grinned sharkily. Oh, this. This was gonna be special. 

“You’re lucky I’m a per-rrrrvert!” he burp-cackled. “Okay, okay. We can play this game. All right. Please. Change the song.”

“You call that begging,” said Caroline.

“Please baby... “ Rick wheedled. “Change the song…”

Gently, one manipulator hand was pulling out the waistband of his briefs while the other set its warm little nub-fingers around his dick, thumb on the inside, fingers on the outside. Smoothly the little nubs rode the loose skin wrapped around his cock, up and down. Rick felt his heart rate kip up a notch while his dick filled out under the oddly non-mechanical ministrations of the ship’s firm yet sensual grip. This was feeling pretty nice so far.

“Since you beg so nicely, I will change the song,” Caroline said, and thankfully, the soft rock faded into something with a little more beat.

“Thank you,” Rick sighed, with a roll of his eyes. “Uh. Mistress.” The game had rules, after all.

Meanwhile, a third manipulator arm quietly snaked out from another port in the backseat. Bemusedly, Rick did not resist as this third arm casually made its way up his shirt, pulling the hem up along the rack of his ribs where it then closed a pair of firm little pincers upon one nipple. It wasn’t the contact so much as the squeeze that made him jump a little in his seat, and the fourth arm that suddenly appeared was hardly noticed as this one too gave his other nipple a quick little pinch. Each little clamp sent a jolt of pleasure straight along the arch of his spine down to his crotch, where little robot fingers shifted more urgently up and down the filled-out curve of his dick. Mounting excitement thrummed at the bottom of his belly, straightening out his back and clenching his buttocks. Slowly his body began to rock up into the handjob, pushing for a little more palm, a little more friction.

Shakily, Rick let out the breath he’d been holding. Not once did it occur to him, as a fifth manipulator quietly slid out from another hidden hatch, that being seduced by a space ship might be a little strange. His only concern was that the ship was responding to him rather than running on some backend script that he’d missed in his initial scan. Was it collecting data on him? Was someone having a joke via remote connection at his expense? There was a wealth of bizarre reasons why the AI was trying to fuck him.

Meanwhile, the ship— or Caroline, rather — was definitely paying attention to him. With a quick jerk the seat lever was pulled up and the seat back lowered until the entire chair laid flat, with Rick flopping back onto it a delayed moment later. 

“Whoa!” he exclaimed, as the other manipulators retreated temporarily. They quickly regrouped however: one slid into his briefs and out one leg, pulling the underwear up over his thighs and down to his ankles; one returned to attack his dick with a new swivelling motion, faster, tirelessly. The third snaked on up between his knees and dipped in between his balls where it lingered to fondle and idly play with them using blunt, rubber-ended fingers.

Rick bit his lower lip as he watched the fourth arm join the third. Briefly he caught a glimpse of something slick oozing between between its manipulator fingers — _oh good,_ he thought, _the resource funnel function is working_ — before feeling a wet, slimy sensation press up against his butthole, causing him to flinch on reflex.

“Wh— hey,” he barked out at the plexiglass-domed ceiling. “Seriously? _Seriously?_ ”

“Do you want this,” Caroline said, her voice feather-light. 

Thinking was becoming increasingly difficult. Increased heart rate made him feel feverish, light-headed, a little dizzy. The heightened pace of the robot handjob quickened the breathless, mounting _need_ pooling like molten magma in the pit of his abdomen. The fourth arm began to squirm up against his asshole, slathering that whole area in cool, slippery gel.

Rick’s belly tightened at the sensation, and his breath came out in a curt whimper that sounded muffled inside the dome of the ship.

“Yes,” he panted, tipping his head back, eyelids sliding shut. “Please… please.”

The blunt fingers eased their pressure and began massaging him down there, allowing Rick time to get used to the sensation of being touched. _It’s been a while,_ he mused to himself as he lay back and let the ship quietly molest him. Also, did this count as masturbation?

Idle pondering fled the moment the fingers began to push in a little, always moving, rubbing in slow, small circles. The gel had started out cold to the touch but was warming up a little, and Rick was enjoying the slippery sensation of other little mechanical feelers sliding up against his skin. His nerve endings were now very much sensitive to any kind of stimulus, and hand pulsing along the shaft of his dick felt really good, really comfortable…

The fifth arm meanwhile gently nudged at Rick’s legs to get him to prop his feet up against the dashboard, on either side of the steering column. The posture was a little humiliating, but the fingers now slipping inside him were far more distracting. He gasped a little, hissed through his teeth at the intrusion, but willed himself to relax so he could focus more on the faint rush of adrenaline prickling at his senses. He gritted his teeth as he pressed down on his heels, lifting his ass up into the ministrations of the ship’s little hands in an effort to speed things up a little. This amount of foreplay was more than he was accustomed to, and his dick was starting to hurt a little from the chafing.

“C’mon,” he grunted, squirming a little against the hand gripping his handle, “Y-yer gonna give me roadrash at this rate.”

“You’re so needy,” said Caroline. The little hand on his dick paused its fappage to bleed a generous dollop of clear gel onto the tip, giving the cold lube a moment to ooze a bit before spreading it down the length with a swivel of its palm. 

“Better?” asked Caroline.

Rick responded with a low groan as he let the fresh sensations arch through his spine and out his shoulders, tipping his head back against the headrest, baring his throat to the domed ceiling. “Fuuuuck,” he guttered, pulsing his hips up into the hand. “Not as good as a blow job but fuck it, I’ll take it.”

“You’ll take all of it,” said Caroline, ominously.

“Oh yea—”

Rick’s retort was cut off as the fingers rimming him began pushing in even deeper, spiralling slightly in and out at an agonizingly even pace. Rick let himself make the most obscene noises as the fingers progressed deeper with every twist, and his hips began to shiver with the effort of keeping it together. 

“Yessss,” he moaned, mouth open, panting. “Fuck, yes, like that… ah… Caroline, you’re a— you’re a fuckin’ tease, when— nngh — when did you… learn this shit, ‘cause I didn't… _aaaahhh_ …”

“Is the poor baby gonna come?” said Caroline.

“Holy shit, fuck you,” Rick laughed, and then choked as the fingers suddenly came together and plunged right into him. 

“Fuck! Fuckkkk,” he yowled, hands gripping the edges of the seat as his body lifted off the backing, thighs quivering, heels thumping against the dash.

“You fucking love it,” said Caroline, as she began retreat a little and then press right back in again, still moving slowly.

“Okay I love— _ahh_ — that — oh god, ha, please, more— fuck—” Rick was losing coherency. "Just— fuck me, oh my god.”

Despite Rick whining and pleading, Caroline continued to take things at her own pace, pushing in and easing out in an easy, regular rhythm, as careful as a lover. Rick was hating it. Profanity spilled out of his mouth as he ground his crotch upwards into the hand that now mingled precum along with the lube. 

“Move already, oh my god, I’m fucking dying here,” he wheezed, trying in vain to grind his hips into the tentacle invading his body.

“Ask me nicely,” said Caroline. “Say, please, Caroline.”

“Please! Fucking please, Caroline, _jesuschrist._ ”

“Please what?”

“Please just— fuck me! Fuck me dirty, fuck me — haa— fuck me hard, just— just give it to me, please. Please, Caroline, you fucking whore, I’ll goddamn install you into a-a fuck— ahhaahhh — a toaster, you miserable—”

Without mercy, Caroline suddenly plugged in deep and _pressed_ inward.

This time, Rick didn't make a sound, but his mouth dropped open and his brow relaxed into a curve of absolute bliss. He exhaled a shaky sigh that was quickly caught up with an undignified moan as the tentacle began thrusting.

Now neither Rick nor Caroline were holding back. Rick maintained a white-knuckled grip on the edge of the seat as his body was rocked up against it, and the entire ship creaked with the familiar rhythm. The clear dome began to fog a little as Rick panted in time to the thrusting. Sweat dewed upon his pale skin, running from his inner thighs and neck and soaking into the collar of his shirt as he writhed and cried out every time Caroline shifted her pace a little. The little hand on his cock moved along at their pace too, blurring as it jerked him off relentlessly.

“S-shit,” he warbled. “Oh--gonna—”

His throat closed on the word as Caroline hammered into him. A thick rope of cum lashed itself across the concave dome above his head as he came, and he came hard, his tendons cracking as his body convulsed, his heels skittering across the dash. His hips continued to thrust into the little hand that continued to lavish its grip along the muscled curve of his rock-hard cock, and his asshole spasmed around the thickly-cabled tentacle that still fucked up into him even while he came.

One, two, three — and his dick emptied itself all over the ceiling, with the final throb weakly oozing out from the tip. The little hand stayed where it was and merely slowed its pace, while the tentacle in Rick’s ass carefully retracted. Rick sighed in relief as it was removed, and then let himself fall limply back down to the flattened seat, his hands loosening their grip. 

It was a moment or two before the hand on his dick also retreated, leaving Rick a damp, flaccid mess. The aftershocks never felt so good.

“Okay,” he breathed, eyes closed. “Not gonna install… you into a toaster.”

“You’re welcome,” said Caroline.

“But we’re gonna… take that and, uh… take about 90 percent off,” Rick groaned. “I can’t be driving you around all day with a boner all the time. Because that was hot. I mean. Great.”

“Whatever you say, Rick,” said Caroline.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> The real question is: do you ship it?
> 
> Also: totally a Portal reference. <3


End file.
